It seems that in the blink of an eye the year has sped past and finally Christmas is here, along with the year's end. During these last few weeks of the year magic can happen. For many of us Christmas can be uplifting, bringing us optimism and confidence, a feeling of 'what the hell, I'll give it a go'. It's our last chance to make 2009 the best it could have been, one final opportunity to do the things we might regret if we don't; we know that January will bring back all the hesitations and 'what ifs' we had before. Then it begins all over again, another year, and December seems a lifetime away once more.
At the turn of one year to the next we're often compelled to re-think our lives, contemplate what we achieved during the past 365 days, what we could have done better, what we lost sight of. At this time of year the past comes back to haunt us, and the future looms in front of us, sometimes mockingly. Yet, with all the parties and celebrations that come with this festive season, a lot of us try to live in the present, leaving the past and present exactly where they belong. These conflicts between what lies behind us, before us, and what we're experiencing right now are explored in the classic Charles Dickens novel 'A Christmas Carol'. The moral most people draw from it is that we should be considerate of others, predominantly those less fortunate, and always keep in mind that money can't buy happiness. However, even though Scrooge is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future in order to learn these lessons, these otherworldly characters can teach us something else; the importance of learning from the past, living in the present, and not worrying too much about the future. And I think that at this time of year it is all the more necessary to keep this in mind. But one without the other can have bad consequences.If you dwell in the past, going over all the mistakes you made and picturing the things you would change if given the chance, you will probably end up neglecting the present. Then that will become another regret. Yet, if you live too much in the present, party hard and give absolutely no consideration to the future, you might end up kicking yourself for lack of foresight when you get there. So when it comes to the past, present and future, balance is needed, and this is what we can gain from 'A Christmas Carol'. Scrooge is forced by the ghosts to think about his past, present and future, all in the same night...and on the other side of dawn he's a changed man. Perhaps the message of this is that an evaluation of our history can sway our future, and a look at our present can make us feel better about the past being where it is. Scrooge is shown both happy and unhappy memories from his past, including the moment he became more concerned with money than loved ones, leaving his fiance to concentrate on business. Therefore, looking back opens his eyes to his present, highlighting how different he is to the man he once was, happy and in love. We've all done things in the past we regret, some we wish we could change, but all things that have brought us to the point we are in our lives right now. And where we are now, the choices we make in the present, they influence our future, determining where we'll end up and who with. It's a never-ending wheel; past, present, future, and as present becomes past future becomes present. I'm one who's guilty of giving too much thought to the past and future, and too little to the present. Then frustration kicks in as what is becomes what was and I begin to wish I'd given more thought to my present when it was just that. The present is where we have the most freedom. The Ghost of Christmas Present in 'A Christmas Carol' is portrayed as a jolly giant, the friendliest of the three spirits. I think his pleasant demeanor shows just how flexible and yielding our present is. It may not seem like it, but it's the one tense we have most control over, and the one that has power over the other two. If we're in a good place in the here and now, we'll move away from the past, taking the good memories with us, discarding the bad ones; and we'll feel ready to experience the future, confident in our ability to shape it to what we want for ourselves. With New Year's approaching it's easy to get caught up in the past and think ahead to the future. Even I'm doing it, right now, by writing about the New Year, which is 2 weeks away! It's so easy to fall into the trap. But we do live in a world where the future is always being thought about, always being worried about. From concerns about global warming to essay deadlines, our minds are always on overload with what's around the corner. And sometimes the future ends up dictating to us, manipulating our decisions, controlling our present. We get scared that we aren't ready, that we won't know what to do when the future turns into our present. But Dickens' representation of the Ghost of Christmas Future as a grim-reaper figure with an ominous message for Scrooge shows that, in some cases, trying to look ahead can be detrimental. If we really knew what was coming our lives would lose all the mystery that life offers. If you knew where you would end up working, who you would wind up dating, and how long you would live, you'd probably get bored very quickly, and quite possibly scared. The future is more fun when it's a surprise. The areas of love and career especially are something we can anticipate, a reward to be worked towards. Well, hopefully at least. Hope is all we can have, the belief that the future will hold something good for us. Scrooge is shown his future death, which, sadly, is something to be found in all of our futures. But, as can be drawn from Scrooge's reaction, nobody really wants to know when something like that will happen. If we give too much thought to the future, to when something is going to happen, for example, a positive thing such as finding love, by the time we find it we will have become so obsessed with it that the real thing will be ruined by our anticipations. I think the fact that Dickens' Ghost of Christmas Future is completely concealed by a black cloak conveys the idea of the future as unseen, undetermined, and unwritten. If our present is a pen, it writes our futures and crosses out our past. We, our present selves, shape the life our future selves will live. If we take each moment as it comes and don't dwell on past mistakes or future choices, we have the license to make the future what we want it to be. But a little thought here and there of past and future won't hurt. When Scrooge is faced with the image of his future grave he says 'I will live in the Past, the Present and the Future' and I think this balance is something we should all strive towards as we move into 2010. So while you're celebrating with friends and family, unwrapping a different kind of present, and counting down to midnight on New Year's Eve, try to keep in mind that 2009, though it may have had many good memories, is now the past. Regrets are not worth dwelling on. And 2010 is the future, nothing to worry about at the moment, because que sera sera and all that jazz. Live in the moment, the in-between, the present. And have fun embracing the unknown. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year people! See you on the other side :)
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Beauty and the Beast: A story of Love above Looks and Lifestyles
So many fairytales are about love; Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Aladdin, Thumbelina, Rapunzel...then there's Beauty and the Beast. I think in a way I prefer it to the others. Perhaps it's the one that stands above all the rest as a fairytale of our time, one we can really live by. No Prince Charming, simply 'what you see is what you get'. And a story of love based on something that's more than skin-deep. Belle is a different type of girl to the distressed damsels we see in the likes of 'Snow White' and 'Sleeping Beauty'. She's portrayed as intellectual, curious, caring and patient, which is refreshing in the face of other fairytales about love. She and the Beast, although he at first comes across as mean and dangerous, develop a bond that the other love stories lack. It's not 'love at first sight' and getting married as soon as they meet; it's more special, and it's more realistic. What's more, the Beast, as you would guess by his name, isn't handsome or charming, at least not until the end. At the end, after Belle and the Beast have professed their love for each other, it's revealed that the Beast is actually a handsome prince who was under a spell. But the concept of looks being unimportant is still there, as we're told the spell would only break when he found someone who could learn to love a beast. And, in real life, if you meet someone who stimulates your mind, makes you laugh, gives you butterflies, then who cares if they're not the best looking person in the room? I think that's what we can draw from this fairytale. Or we could think of it a different way. It could be seen as another boy-meets girl scenario with 'Beauty' and 'Beast', opposites of each other, being synonyms for two people who are from completely different worlds; poor Jack and rich Rose from 'Titanic', Pocahontas and John Smith, Noah and Allie in 'The Notebook'...'Beauty and the Beast' could be another story of opposites attract. The Beast is the rough-and-ready guy, Belle is the studious library-type girl; but true love knows no boundaries. And sometimes in the real world of dating we are attracted to someone who's completely different to us. It's usually what happens to me. So 'Beauty and the Beast' could be viewed as more of a modern-day fairytale if we look at it metaphorically. The transformation of the Beast into a prince at the end after Belle tells him she loves him could be likened to a bad boy becoming a good guy when he meets the right girl, which I think is possible. Or another way it could be viewed is as a mirroring of how people's behaviour changes when they're in love. Often we start to see someone differently when we fall for them. At first meeting we might think they're fairly average-looking, but as we develop the feelings their personality, their sense of humour, give us, we begin to see them as more attractive people on the outside. Perhaps we can divulge this message from the ending of 'Beauty and the Beast', as it's only after Belle has fallen for him that the Beast transforms into a handsome prince before her eyes - maybe it's symbolic. This fairytale is multi-faceted in the ways we can relate it to real life.
The other way we can look at this fairytale, the one related to looks, can also fit in with our modern standards. The world does suffer vanity at times, especially with the media being the way it is. We're constantly told how we should look, what's attractive to the other gender. 'Beauty and the Beast' deals with this issue. We learn that the Beast was turned into such because he bahaved superficially, casting away an old beggar who is actually a fairy in disguise. And Gaston announces that Belle is the best girl for him because she is the most beautiful in the village. The issues of looks and vanity are explored throughout this story. Even Belle, on first meeting the Beast, cringes at his appearance.
I've heard or read, one or the other, that we often go for partners that look similar to us, someone who will match us. If this is true, it's probably inbuilt in our subconscious, something to do with finding someone with good genes for when we have children; so outdated and prehistoric. I don't think it's so relevent now. If we are lucky enough to find someone who puts a smile on our face, brings laughter to our lives, we're not going to worry too much about what colour hair and eyes they have, not going to give too much consideration to the fact they're not conventionally good-looking. I admit, there needs to be a physical attraction, a spark that ignites deep down inside you whenever you lay your eyes on that special someone. But a lot of the time our emotions will rise above our reason...we'll realise it doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks we look incongruous, out of place, next to the person we care about. Beauty and Beast are the most unlikely couple, complete opposites in every possible way. She's pretty, polite and happy-go-lucky...he's not handsome, lacks manners, is bad-tempered. But theirs is one of those great love stories, the type you can actually see happening to you, because it's not about being perfect, about this myth we've all heard about - falling-in-love-at-first-sight. It's real love, real life. And I would hope I could be as open-minded as Belle when it comes to dating. In a world where looks are judged so much, this fairytale shows us that love hits deeper. It has nothing to do with appearance. And, besides this, 'Beauty and the Beast' illustrates how two people with completely different lifestyles can fall for each other; the skater boy and the ballerina, the 'uptown girl' and the 'downtown man'. After all, don't they say variety is the spice of life?! But I suppose at our age, when some of us are not ready for an epic love story, it's okay to be a little superficial. At least for now. Later in life our looks will fade and lifestyles will change. But do you want to know the great thing about this fairytale? 'Beauty and the Beast', our real-life love story, is a 'tale as old as time'. And so is love.
The other way we can look at this fairytale, the one related to looks, can also fit in with our modern standards. The world does suffer vanity at times, especially with the media being the way it is. We're constantly told how we should look, what's attractive to the other gender. 'Beauty and the Beast' deals with this issue. We learn that the Beast was turned into such because he bahaved superficially, casting away an old beggar who is actually a fairy in disguise. And Gaston announces that Belle is the best girl for him because she is the most beautiful in the village. The issues of looks and vanity are explored throughout this story. Even Belle, on first meeting the Beast, cringes at his appearance.
I've heard or read, one or the other, that we often go for partners that look similar to us, someone who will match us. If this is true, it's probably inbuilt in our subconscious, something to do with finding someone with good genes for when we have children; so outdated and prehistoric. I don't think it's so relevent now. If we are lucky enough to find someone who puts a smile on our face, brings laughter to our lives, we're not going to worry too much about what colour hair and eyes they have, not going to give too much consideration to the fact they're not conventionally good-looking. I admit, there needs to be a physical attraction, a spark that ignites deep down inside you whenever you lay your eyes on that special someone. But a lot of the time our emotions will rise above our reason...we'll realise it doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks we look incongruous, out of place, next to the person we care about. Beauty and Beast are the most unlikely couple, complete opposites in every possible way. She's pretty, polite and happy-go-lucky...he's not handsome, lacks manners, is bad-tempered. But theirs is one of those great love stories, the type you can actually see happening to you, because it's not about being perfect, about this myth we've all heard about - falling-in-love-at-first-sight. It's real love, real life. And I would hope I could be as open-minded as Belle when it comes to dating. In a world where looks are judged so much, this fairytale shows us that love hits deeper. It has nothing to do with appearance. And, besides this, 'Beauty and the Beast' illustrates how two people with completely different lifestyles can fall for each other; the skater boy and the ballerina, the 'uptown girl' and the 'downtown man'. After all, don't they say variety is the spice of life?! But I suppose at our age, when some of us are not ready for an epic love story, it's okay to be a little superficial. At least for now. Later in life our looks will fade and lifestyles will change. But do you want to know the great thing about this fairytale? 'Beauty and the Beast', our real-life love story, is a 'tale as old as time'. And so is love.
Friday, 11 December 2009
Genies, wolves and noses that grow: A recipe for deception
Deception is a major theme in fairytales. It's a major theme in life. We come across lies every day, white ones that we dish out, or are offered up by others, to save hurt feelings. But then there are the big ones that lead us into a danger zone. And in life there are some people who will try to delude us with disguises, hiding who they really are. It's also in the media, politics, religion...sorry to be morbid but deception is everwhere. And it features in the likes of 'Little Red Riding Hood', 'Aladdin' and 'The Adventures of Pinocchio'. Although each of these have happy endings, the downfall of the protagonists in the first place is partly due to their deceiving others or being deceived themselves. Lies, disguises and misleadings can be found in these famous stories, and they can teach us a few things about our own lives.
'Little Red Riding Hood' is one of the most famous fairytales featuring deception. The most obvious moral that jumps out from it, if a little patronizing, is to beware of strangers that are seemingly nice to you.
In the Grimm Brothers' version Red Riding Hood is portrayed as a naive young girl who meets a wolf on her way to her grandmother's cottage and makes the mistake of telling him where she lives. He rushes to the cottage, pretending to be Red Riding Hood. Grandmother gets eaten, then Little Red comes along and the wolf pretends to be the grandmother. Even after seeing 'what big eyes' and 'what a big mouth' the wolf has, she still doesn't catch on to the fact that it isn't her grandmother. Then it's too late and she get's herself eaten up. I think this does have relevance in our world. Any time we do trust someone we are putting ourselves in a position with the possibility of getting hurt. And often the people we need to be careful of don't look dangerous. They first appear kind and safe. It's true in all walks of life; friends who turn out to be using you, the boyfriend/girlfriend who disguises their real intentions until you've let them get too close, people who promise one thing only to do the complete opposite. We've all experienced it. Maybe we've done it ourselves. I know it's a cliche but if your best friend asks you whether a dress looks good on her, and you think it's awful, you're probably going to lie. And if someone you're not really interested in asks you out, you may feel the need to protect their feelings by saying something other than 'I just don't fancy you'.
But deception can become dangerous ground, a minefield where your next movement may end explosively. The wolf's fate in 'Little Red Riding Hood' proves this. If he hadn't deceived the grandmother to get into her house, or deceived Red Riding Hood to make her his meal, he would not have ended up getting his stomach cut open and being hung up as a trophy on the huntsman's wall. Yet some might see Little Red as the one to blame. Surely you could tell a big bad wolf from your sweet old grandmother! In reality it's not that obvious. Smiles and kind words conceal the dangerous plans some people hold for us. The girl you thought was your best friend may have ended up spreading cruel rumours behind your back; the guy you thought was so sweet and different to all the others may turn out to be a bad boy who breaks your heart. Disguises are all around us. Perhaps the world is a stage and we're all just actors. Maybe, like the wolf, we are all simply playing a part to get to where we want to be. But what happens when the curtain goes down at the end? Will we know who we actually are, who those around us are, behind the costumes, behind the masks? I think, though, most of us do show the world the real us. We might pretend to be someone else at times, maybe when we first meet someone new we'll convince them we like the same things they do so we have something in common. But eventually the truth comes out. Aladdin learned this lesson. Both the original Middle-Eastern fairytale and the well-known Disney version feature a young man suffering poverty who finds a magical lamp in a cave with a genie in it. But, because the Disney version has a much more likeable Aladdin in it, I'm going to stick to this one. In the film he wishes Genie to make him a Prince, complete with all the riches that come with it. Disguise; deception in its rawest state. Even Abu, his pet monkey, is turned into an elephant; yet another disguise. So it's a big part of the movie, the idea of changing yourself to gain something. Although I do love this story, and it's actually one of my favourite Disney films, Aladdin is like one of those guys I mentioned earlier, exploiting a girl with a false pretence. But we can sympathise with him. He only does it because he sees his true self as unworthy of the princess. Some of us are likely to know how that feels, in one way or another.
In the end of the film Aladdin's true roots are revealed to Jasmine, and for a while chaos ensues. But things don't completely fall apart as they might in real life. He still gets the girl and ends up living the lifestyle of a prince anyway. So perhaps there is no moral associated with the dangers of deception to be gained from this tale, except that the truth will out. It often does; if you tell one lie, you have to tell another, and so on until you end up catching yourself out. Half-way through the film Aladdin himself accidently reveals that he is in fact the same boy Jasmine met in the market earlier on, and this shows how lies and disguises can end up getting you into trouble.
However, anyone who has seen the film 'The Invention of Lying' starring Ricky Gervaise would have realised that a world without lying would be incredibly depressing. Brutal honesty is not something we all want to hear. And perhaps sometimes the only way to get to your dream job is to tell a few fibs on your application, and the only way to get close to the guy you really like is to pretend you absolutely love his favourite band. And sometimes it works. Sometimes it leads to a mini happily-ever-after. But not always. Pinocchio comes to mind whenever we think of lying. He is the wooden puppet who wanted to be a real boy, but every time he lied his nose grew. 'The Adventures of Pinocchio' was written by Carlo Collodi, and this original is fairly different to the Disney classic. In the story, a lot of bad things happen to Pinocchio, most of which are fairly violent; he get's his feet burnt off, he's hanged, ends up in prison, changes into a donkey, suffers an attempted drowning, and is swallowed by a shark in contrast to Disney's whale. So, poor Pinocchio! However, this version does not feature the conscience-like character Jiminy Cricket. The addition of him to the Disney version makes it all the more effective as a template for our own lives. Often our conscience will let us know if we're doing something wrong, and the fact that he accompanies Disney's Pinocchio on his adventure shows that we can't escape our own awareness of wrong and right, no matter where we go. I think the concept of Pinocchio's nose growing when he lies, a nose being something that is completely visible to everyone, relates to the fact that lying becomes transparent and you can easily be caught out. Unless you're an award-winning actor, pretending to be someone different or lying to the people closest to you will show. Nobody can act a part forever. And disguises and deception, if used with bad intention, will probably be unveiled due to our own mistakes, our own subconcious guilt.
Well, in the end Pinocchio changes his ways, and is rewarded by the Blue Fairy who turns him into a real boy. So, in the end, the moment he stopped lying was the moment he got what he desired. Patience and self-acceptance are perhaps the virtue we need in these situations. If someone makes you feel the need to put on a different personality, pretend you have different hobbies, then are they really worth your time? Why not wait for someone better to come along who will actually like the real you, no deceptions necessary? Because, in the end, the people we think appear to be perfect, flawless, the ones we're trying to be like, are probably disguised themselves. They hide behind the popular kids, their parents' money, a mask of make-up, trying to live up to who THEY wish THEY were; someone who has a right to feel good about themselves; someone like you.
'Little Red Riding Hood' is one of the most famous fairytales featuring deception. The most obvious moral that jumps out from it, if a little patronizing, is to beware of strangers that are seemingly nice to you.
In the Grimm Brothers' version Red Riding Hood is portrayed as a naive young girl who meets a wolf on her way to her grandmother's cottage and makes the mistake of telling him where she lives. He rushes to the cottage, pretending to be Red Riding Hood. Grandmother gets eaten, then Little Red comes along and the wolf pretends to be the grandmother. Even after seeing 'what big eyes' and 'what a big mouth' the wolf has, she still doesn't catch on to the fact that it isn't her grandmother. Then it's too late and she get's herself eaten up. I think this does have relevance in our world. Any time we do trust someone we are putting ourselves in a position with the possibility of getting hurt. And often the people we need to be careful of don't look dangerous. They first appear kind and safe. It's true in all walks of life; friends who turn out to be using you, the boyfriend/girlfriend who disguises their real intentions until you've let them get too close, people who promise one thing only to do the complete opposite. We've all experienced it. Maybe we've done it ourselves. I know it's a cliche but if your best friend asks you whether a dress looks good on her, and you think it's awful, you're probably going to lie. And if someone you're not really interested in asks you out, you may feel the need to protect their feelings by saying something other than 'I just don't fancy you'.
But deception can become dangerous ground, a minefield where your next movement may end explosively. The wolf's fate in 'Little Red Riding Hood' proves this. If he hadn't deceived the grandmother to get into her house, or deceived Red Riding Hood to make her his meal, he would not have ended up getting his stomach cut open and being hung up as a trophy on the huntsman's wall. Yet some might see Little Red as the one to blame. Surely you could tell a big bad wolf from your sweet old grandmother! In reality it's not that obvious. Smiles and kind words conceal the dangerous plans some people hold for us. The girl you thought was your best friend may have ended up spreading cruel rumours behind your back; the guy you thought was so sweet and different to all the others may turn out to be a bad boy who breaks your heart. Disguises are all around us. Perhaps the world is a stage and we're all just actors. Maybe, like the wolf, we are all simply playing a part to get to where we want to be. But what happens when the curtain goes down at the end? Will we know who we actually are, who those around us are, behind the costumes, behind the masks? I think, though, most of us do show the world the real us. We might pretend to be someone else at times, maybe when we first meet someone new we'll convince them we like the same things they do so we have something in common. But eventually the truth comes out. Aladdin learned this lesson. Both the original Middle-Eastern fairytale and the well-known Disney version feature a young man suffering poverty who finds a magical lamp in a cave with a genie in it. But, because the Disney version has a much more likeable Aladdin in it, I'm going to stick to this one. In the film he wishes Genie to make him a Prince, complete with all the riches that come with it. Disguise; deception in its rawest state. Even Abu, his pet monkey, is turned into an elephant; yet another disguise. So it's a big part of the movie, the idea of changing yourself to gain something. Although I do love this story, and it's actually one of my favourite Disney films, Aladdin is like one of those guys I mentioned earlier, exploiting a girl with a false pretence. But we can sympathise with him. He only does it because he sees his true self as unworthy of the princess. Some of us are likely to know how that feels, in one way or another.
In the end of the film Aladdin's true roots are revealed to Jasmine, and for a while chaos ensues. But things don't completely fall apart as they might in real life. He still gets the girl and ends up living the lifestyle of a prince anyway. So perhaps there is no moral associated with the dangers of deception to be gained from this tale, except that the truth will out. It often does; if you tell one lie, you have to tell another, and so on until you end up catching yourself out. Half-way through the film Aladdin himself accidently reveals that he is in fact the same boy Jasmine met in the market earlier on, and this shows how lies and disguises can end up getting you into trouble.
However, anyone who has seen the film 'The Invention of Lying' starring Ricky Gervaise would have realised that a world without lying would be incredibly depressing. Brutal honesty is not something we all want to hear. And perhaps sometimes the only way to get to your dream job is to tell a few fibs on your application, and the only way to get close to the guy you really like is to pretend you absolutely love his favourite band. And sometimes it works. Sometimes it leads to a mini happily-ever-after. But not always. Pinocchio comes to mind whenever we think of lying. He is the wooden puppet who wanted to be a real boy, but every time he lied his nose grew. 'The Adventures of Pinocchio' was written by Carlo Collodi, and this original is fairly different to the Disney classic. In the story, a lot of bad things happen to Pinocchio, most of which are fairly violent; he get's his feet burnt off, he's hanged, ends up in prison, changes into a donkey, suffers an attempted drowning, and is swallowed by a shark in contrast to Disney's whale. So, poor Pinocchio! However, this version does not feature the conscience-like character Jiminy Cricket. The addition of him to the Disney version makes it all the more effective as a template for our own lives. Often our conscience will let us know if we're doing something wrong, and the fact that he accompanies Disney's Pinocchio on his adventure shows that we can't escape our own awareness of wrong and right, no matter where we go. I think the concept of Pinocchio's nose growing when he lies, a nose being something that is completely visible to everyone, relates to the fact that lying becomes transparent and you can easily be caught out. Unless you're an award-winning actor, pretending to be someone different or lying to the people closest to you will show. Nobody can act a part forever. And disguises and deception, if used with bad intention, will probably be unveiled due to our own mistakes, our own subconcious guilt.
Well, in the end Pinocchio changes his ways, and is rewarded by the Blue Fairy who turns him into a real boy. So, in the end, the moment he stopped lying was the moment he got what he desired. Patience and self-acceptance are perhaps the virtue we need in these situations. If someone makes you feel the need to put on a different personality, pretend you have different hobbies, then are they really worth your time? Why not wait for someone better to come along who will actually like the real you, no deceptions necessary? Because, in the end, the people we think appear to be perfect, flawless, the ones we're trying to be like, are probably disguised themselves. They hide behind the popular kids, their parents' money, a mask of make-up, trying to live up to who THEY wish THEY were; someone who has a right to feel good about themselves; someone like you.
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