Prince Charming and his Damsels in Distress

Let's talk about Prince Charming. He's that man all of us heard about as a child, the one who seemed to be sweeping every princess in every fairytale off her feet. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White - they are all rescued by their Prince Charming. I think that, because of these stories, a lot of us girls grew up thinking that there existed a perfect man out there, somebody who would find us, rescue us, and fall desperately in love with us. But, thinking about this, it makes me feel slightly sorry for the guys out there! Because of this Prince we heard about in our childhood, many of the men we meet in our lives may not live up to our high expectations. We might complain that he's not romantic, or he's not witty enough, or he lacks those good looks and charm we crave. The fairytales set the bar pretty high. But, I guess in time the expectation that Prince Charming is going to come along fades. We start to realise that no such person exists outside of fiction. But perhaps, in a sense, the concept is real. Maybe not universally, but subjectively. When you fall in love, that guy is probably, in your eyes, your knight in shining armour, your prince. He may not be fighting dragons and witches, or searching entire kingdoms to find you and return your shoe to you, but in his own way he probably shows you how much he cares. I think it must be kind of programmed in a guy to look after his girl. And perhaps, in a way, they themselves have adopted a 'Prince Charming' persona when it comes to relationships. I don't know, but I think that if some girls have clung to the idea of a Prince coming to rescue them, it's quite possible that this element is dormant somewhere in the male subconscious too.
But, there is something a little annoying about these fairytales, especially for the modern woman. Each Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Cinderella need a man to rescue them. Don't get me wrong, I'm no feminist. But there is something very unsatisfactory about a girl waiting to be kissed so she can wake up from a hundred years of sleep. And who would be ditzy enough to lose a shoe on a night out?! Or eat an apple forced upon her by a suspicious-looking stranger? But I guess they are just stories after all. Yet, these three in particular are probably the most famous of all the fairytales you've heard. And they each have basically the same story structure - girl is mistreated by someone, girl meets prince, girl is tricked, prince rescues girl, then it's 'happily ever after' - I guess that's the formula for a classic love story. But what happens after the Prince and his bride-to-be ride off into the sunset? They've basically just met, fallen for each other based purely on looks, and said about two words to one another. So, is their story-book ending of getting married the equivalent to our real-life version - a first date?! And we all know those don't always have a fairytale ending.
I suppose the people who wrote these stories were simply very big on romance. It's interesting to note, though, that the most well-known versions of 'Cinderella', 'Snow White' and 'Sleeping Beauty', the triad of fairytales that offer its readers a representation of the perfect man, were written by the Grimm brothers. As men, they must have known that they were exaggerating when they sent Prince Charming to bring the princesses their happily ever afters. Then again, the portrayal of the women in these stories are fairly obscured as well. Even though they were written hundreds of years ago, when women had less independence, I'm sure that the image of helpless girls waiting to be rescued must have frustrated women just a little back then. Yet, despite all these weaknesses, it is difficult to just cast these fairytales aside. They give us a sense of hope that, just maybe, it is possible that somebody can come into our life and change it completely, that we can fall for someone at first meeting, and that somebody would fight for us if we were in danger. Prince Charming may be a fictional character, and a fairly unconvincing one at that, but he has had a major impact on the dating world of today and how we go about searching for the perfect partner. Some men try to impress girls by putting on a macho facade, while girls may try to act demure, waiting to be approached by the guys they secretly like. And we all have, if only subconsciously, lists of the perfect attributes we want in the opposite sex. Yet, I guess, when it comes to real love, these lists get tossed aside. So perhaps we should get rid of Prince Charming and the knights in shining armour of the fairytale world and trade them in for the real thing, the real guys.

Dumbo - good to be different?

Okay, so it's not a traditional fairytale, but it's Disney, and aren't most classic Disney films fairytales in their own right? Well, it does have relevance to the real world, especially today, when we're constantly judged on the image we present to the world. Well Dumbo, the baby elephant born with unusually big ears, is judged for the way he looks. He's different, and as a result he's shunned by his herd, the humans who take care of him - basically everyone except his mum and the mouse he befriends. Even his name, 'Dumbo', is given to him by the other characters as a form of mockery. Truth is, we can probably all relate to this famous character at one time or another in our lives. We all feel judged at times, perhaps not for our physical appearance, but for our opinions, beliefs, or tastes. A lot of us have probably been unfortunate enough to encounter some bullying in our lives. The ones that pick on us can't stand the thought of somebody who speaks/looks/behaves differently to them...I think that's just a little sad. But do you remember what happens to Dumbo in the end? Those big ears that everyone laughed at make him famous and everybody ends up loving him! He gets revenge on those that bullied him and by the end of the film he's smiling, back in the arms of his mum. It really is a fairytale ending. So, isn't it good to be different? Standing out from the crowd is what many people like to do nowadays - the clothes we wear, the people we hang out with, whether we have piercings or tattoos - these all build up an outward impression to the world and an individual identity for each of us. Maybe Walt Disney didn't intend to convey this message, but I think he succeeds in doing so. Being different will get you noticed, often in a good way. If Dumbo had been ordinary with normal-sized ears, he wouldn't have got his big break! And in the real world isn't it often those with something a little unusual and extraordinary to offer that make it to the top?
However, nowadays, with most people advocating political correctness, outwardly judging someone as a form of bullying is no longer tolerated. Yet, the criticisms are still there in their minds, even if they don't express them. Why do people judge those who are different to them? Like most people say, if everyone was the same it would be a very boring world. And, I wonder, who is this one archetypal person we would all mimic? Nobody's perfect. Today, and especially at university, we all meet a variety of people from all walks of life, all with different quirks and looks. Anyone who is ordinary, without something a little unusual or different to offer, is turned away and seen as dull. The people who really catch my attention are often those who have a somewhat eccentric style in clothes, or an alternative opinion to everyone else. I definitely advocate the view that different is better. It's relevant in all areas of life; going for a job interview - what makes you different to everyone else applying; dating - how do you stand out from every other person in the room...
I think the message of this Disney fairytale is that, in the end, the thing that makes you different to everyone else is in fact your biggest strength. Dumbo thought his big ears were his weakness, but they turned out to be his ticket to a better life. So, if other people have perhaps, at some point in your life, made you feel a little insecure about your beliefs, the way you dress, or even your taste in music, just realise that those things form identity and will probably pave the way for your future life experiences. So take a leaf out of Dumbo's book, spread your wings, and enjoy being you!

The Peter Pan Complex

So I have this theory that when we reach a certain age we all develop the Peter Pan complex. Growing up is hard to do, it takes a lot of work if you think about it. When you're young there's no responsibility, no worries, just fun and games, and the entire world at your feet. At least that's how it feels at the time. At this age, when we're either already in our twenties, or just about to be, we know better. Life is tough, people can be mean, and nothing is free. It's just the way the world works. And isn't it ironic? Around the time we turn 10 all we want to do is grow up, become adults and start our lives in the real world. But once we're there, and we begin to become overwhelmed with all the drama and work that comes with it, we don't want it anymore. It's then that we begin to wish we had made the most of being children. I've heard it so many times; when we're drowning in essay deadlines or getting over break-ups, don't we all wish we could go back to that time, not so long ago, when we were completely oblivious to these things? I know I do. When I was a kid I was so innocent, naive, and free from judgement and cynicsm. But as I became a teenager the world became darker, and I began to realise that it will not always be such a friendly place.
But I have to admit, growing up is not all bad. The best thing about this age is the independence and the freedom to do what I want when I want. No more curfew, bed-time or rules...well, to a certain extent anyway.
But going back to Peter Pan, the boy who's famous for never growing up. It's all well and good to be like that if you live somewhere like Never-Never Land! It's the perfect place for a kid; mermaids, pirates, indians and fairies - what more could you want. But, what about in the real world? You can't just fly away when someone tries to hurt you, and you can't stay young forever. In our world, if you don't move forward with everyone else, the world will leave you behind.
I have to admit, though, being at Uni has, in a way, taken me back to my childhood. Last year, those in Sydney K8 will remember our colouring sessions, playing with bouncy balls, frisbees, rounders, board games and SO many card games...it was just like being back at school! The perfect ways to distract ourselves when we were coping with living away from home for the first time. So, it's good to indulge our inner children, and I think, as people say, it keeps the heart young. Life would be so boring if all we did was get up, go to uni or work, learn what we have to, go home, have dinner and go to bed. That sounds like such a grey world! But I think the fact that NOBODY does JUST this shows that we all have a bit of a Peter Pan complex. None of us really want to grow up and leave our younger selves behind. We all need to have fun; its ingrained in each of us from that very young age that fun and play are good. Even going out once a week to dance to cheesy 80s and 90s music can be seen as a form of indulging the kid inside, especially for someone who was born in the 80s and grew up in the 90s! And the fact that on a night out many of us like to go out in fancy dress - well, could that have anything to do with playing dress-up as a kid?!
I guess, though, at my age, having only just turned 21 last week, I'm getting slightly ahead of myself. At times I still feel like a big kid with the whole world at my feet. And, thinking about it, those of us who are now in our twenties are only just out of our teens. My only hope is that when I'm 70 I will still feel young inside and be able to appreciate the memories of my youth. Here's hoping that the grown-up world I'm now becoming a part of won't have made me too much of a cynic by then!